This is the hardest of all the paths for me! Well, I’m a Taurus for starters!! I am also very stubborn and a control freak. I’m guessing that is why it took so long for me to traverse this path.
I’m a big believer in righting wrongs, seeing justice served, and karma. I’ll never be able to understand people who aren’t sorry for the horrible things they do.I’ll never be able to understand how someone could not hold a person accountable when they mistreat others. I will never understand why bad things happen to good people. It can’t just be me who feels this way?? Right??
Though I still feel this way, I’ve given up the unrealistic expectation that I have any control over if that happens or not. By learning to let go, it has given me the peace I need to heal and move on to better things. I am no longer stuck in a place I didn’t want to be anymore.
Letting go, at first, was hard for me because I felt like I was giving up accountability for what had happened. I wasn’t okay with what happened and I’m still not. But, you can only be accountable for what you do; not the actions of others. You can say how you feel but it does not mean that that person will do anything different.
Once I realized I don’t necessarily have to forgive the injustice to let it all go, things started to heal and I found myself letting things go bit by bit. When I started to accept the reality of what was happening, I found that holding on to the anger and bitterness was only destroying me. I started to focus on forgiving myself for allowing the abuse or negative experiences.
Every person and every situation are different! What works for me; may not work for you. In this blog, I’ve chosen some of the ways that worked best for me. This list is not exclusive and is only a small portion of what I share in my brand. Here are a few things that really helped me:
Create Physical Distance
It was extremely difficult for me to see and work with someone who was abusive and disrespectful to me. Just hearing his voice or seeing him would trigger the wounds. Everyone says time heals all wounds. Well, that only works when you aren’t constantly surrounded by the person who hurt you in the first place. Creating physical distance is what worked best for me. When I didn’t have to be around that person as much, I was able to start healing.
Learn to Forgive Yourself for Letting it Happen
Another tough one here. You have to accept that you may never get an apology from the person who hurt you. So don’t apologize for letting go. Instead, look toward forgiveness, it’s is a key part of letting go. You no longer hang on to the bitterness, you let go of what is keeping you stuck where you are. Honestly, I had to work the longest on forgiving myself for allowing what happened to happen. But as I learned, I knew it was the right choice.
Talk About the Pain and Trauma
Talking about it releases what you are holding inside. It makes it real. You do not have to be ashamed of it anymore. Talk to a friend who is patient and won’t judge you. If you do not have someone like that in your inner circle or you find yourself struggling, please seek professional help. I had an amazing friend and family members who helped me get through a lot of my pain. I also sought a therapist because I wanted to heal well and become whole again. When I was putting the pieces back together, I wanted advice and guidance. There is absolutely no shame in needing or wanting help. Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness. It takes far more strength to admit you need help! #endthestigma
Engage in Self-Care
The Heart and Soul of my brand- Taking Back Control of Your Life & Mindset is related to self-care. It is the key to living your best life! If you want others to respect, love, and treat you well, you have to show them how by doing it for yourself!
“To let go of past hurts, you need to make the conscious decision to take control of the situation. However, this can take time and practice. Be kind to yourself as your practice refocusing how you see the situation and celebrate the small victories you have.” Sara Lindburg
Although I was stubborn and didn’t want to traverse this path at first, Letting Go became the best thing I ever did. Now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t easy and I needed help from family and friends. But in the end, I made it and I am so proud of doing it. In letting go I was able to find a peaceful mind and a grateful heart. And I know you can, too.