I didn’t always see 50 as a good thing
I remember when I was around 8 years old and thought 21 was old. What a little shit I was, huh? I also remember at about 16, I thought 40 was old. Because I knew everything at that age, right? Pfft. I remember in my 30’s, my now ex-husband would tell me he was going to trade me in for 2, 20-year-olds when I turned 40 (one of his frequent demeaning jokes). It made my fear of never being enough even worse! So, now 50 (midlife!) is just around the bend and that’s when the over the hill jokes start. So, how do I feel? I feel free and I’m flourishing!
You want to know what is ironic? I am now very much looking forward to 50! I can’t wait to experience my midlife.
Why am I looking forward to midlife?
Because I am now living my best life and it just gets better and better.
At 50, I am out of a toxic relationship. I am single and not settling. My home? I own it! I’m self-sufficient and I’m debt-free. Recently, I traveled to one of the Hawaiian islands I’d never been to before. At 50, I have the best relationship with my adult children. When I hit 50, I am going to be a first-time grandma!
I have the support of my family and friends like I never have before. At 50, I have many amazing new people in my life that I wouldn’t have even met before. I am in good enough physical shape to do anything I want to do, and I am in the best place emotionally ever. 50+ is going to be amazing because I have chosen to make it that way.
How do I plan to make midlife the best yet?
I am no longer weighed down by fear of anger, lies, verbal abuse, drunkenness, and deceit. Isolating myself out of embarrassment and judgment from others because I allowed others to behave in damaging ways — that’s done. That’s right, I no longer put up walls out of fear of disappointment or being hurt.
I stopped waiting for others to show up in my life. Settling? I no longer settle on who I let in my life. Healthy lifestyle choices are the norm instead of being bullied into poor decisions. Before I took control of my life, the thought that trauma was what my “best years” were going to be was unbearable to me.
I am no longer in survival mode, I am living and feeling and being and doing. Midlife is better than ever!
When did this shift happen?
When I regained my confidence and took back control of my life.
I reached out for help because I was miserable where I was at. That’s when I learned I wasn’t broken, I just needed healing. I started to take responsibility for what I was allowing and stood up for myself.
Most importantly, I realized that my children needed a role model that showed them what respect, love, and healthy boundaries were. I didn’t need them to feel sorry for me. I wanted them to be proud of me for taking care of myself.
This wasn’t an overnight thing either! It took a lot of work on my part to get to this place of confidence and strong boundaries. You can too! I am a work in progress and I have so much more to learn and do but I am now hopeful and secure in a healthy and loving future.
Is it ever too late to make a change?
NO WAY! Is it easy? Not usually. Is it worth it? Yes.
Everyone is on an individual journey. Your journey won’t necessarily look like mine or anyone else’s.
I feel very blessed to be where I am. Not everyone has the options that I did. There are always options though! We can be there for each other and offer support when needed. You don’t have to do this alone. Just because my path took me this way, doesn’t mean your path has to. This is your journey and you get to decide which paths you want to take.
No matter what age you are or if you’re heading into 50 just like me, it’s never too late to create a life you love and we can do it together.
Let’s make this year (midlife or not) the best yet!
Live life on your terms,