I’ve been talking about friendships this month, and I want to share with you important lessons I’ve learned along the way. It makes a big difference who you allow into your life. I found out the hard way.

I’m someone who wants to grow and learn. When I look back at the changes I’ve made, I know I’ve made good investments in my time and energy. When I didn’t feel that way, I can point to times when I was hanging around people who weren’t a positive influence. They weren’t focused on their future.

Here’s What I Look for In Friends

These days, I’m not really looking for new friends. I’m someone who observes someone’s actions before I decide if this is someone who I will let into my inner circle. I’ve worked hard to create a space for myself that is positive and helps me to continue growing.

I might seem a little introverted when I first meet people, as I allow the other person to talk. I learn a lot from seeing how people act and treat other people. I like to feel their energy. Are they positive, energetic, and bring good energy? I can tell you who won’t be in my inner circle, people who judge others and are mean!

Be Careful Who You Choose to Be in Your Inner Circle

If you’re like me, wanting to learn more and be a better version of yourself each day, then you have to be around people who want that for themselves. Even better, surround yourself with people who can mentor you. Choose people that are doing what you want to do but better or have been doing it longer.

That could mean someone who has been doing gratitude journaling for a while. It could mean a person that has been doing hot yoga for years and can guide you through that sweaty mess.

Being able to share your goals with someone who can help you get there is the best. There are quotes I think about like, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” That is from motivational speaker Jim Rohn. Or what about this saying, “You’re only as good as the company you keep.”

Sometimes We Outgrow Our Friends

And let me just say that while I would rather make time to be around and learn from someone who is a mentor or hang out with someone with similar interests, there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to grow or learn. That’s not what I am saying. It’s just that I have discovered that at this point in my life, that is what I want for myself.

In the past, before I removed certain people from my life, I would pick up things from those friends. I realize now that I can be influenced and absorb negativity from others. That never worked out well.

Dogs Are Great Judges of Character!

Here is what I know. Once I began to remove negative people, I noticed something. I felt better and could focus on my goals. I also noticed my dog Carleton was a great judge of character! Every person I’d removed, he’d always bark at so much and become really unsettled. For my good friends I have now, Carleton will snuggle up with them and be the angel he is! If you need help identifying the people you should keep in your life, get a Carleton!

My Best Advice to You For Making New Friends

My best advice for you if you’re finding yourself stuck and frustrated is to look at your circle. Who is in it? Are they positive, happy people? Do they want to grow and learn like you? Do you have similar interests? It can be hard and almost impossible to achieve your goals when you have people around you who distract you or create drama. Just remember what I always say,

Live Life On Your Own Terms!