A lot of people ask me what it’s like to put myself out there, and to be honest, it’s a scary thing to do. I mean, the first time you try something new is always a bit scary. So, when you bare your soul to the world and show them the good, the bad, and the ugly, it’s extremely scary.
It’s especially hard for me to put myself out there because I’m a pretty private person. People still come up to me and tell me they thought my marriage was perfect before they learned what had really been going on all of those years, because I let them believe that. I mean, when you’re miserable 80% of your married life, and your whole world is built around that person, you sort of just learn to accept things the way they are and do the best that you can.
Now I’m healing and learning from what I’ve gone through, and helping others who are going through the same challenges. I’ve learned that even though putting all of myself out there might be uncomfortable sometimes, it’s so worth it.
Professional Me vs. Survival-Warrior Me
There are two different avenues of my life that I share: my professional, business side, and my personal, survival-warrior side. I love helping entrepreneurs and small business owners, so sharing that part of my life was always a breeze for me.
I’ve been in business for 20 years. I’ve grown a successful multi-million-dollar company from scratch, and it’s really thrilling for me to share what’s worked for me and what hasn’t. I’ve loved helping other women, especially women trying to run businesses with their significant others 24/7 while raising a family. I understand the things that are hard for them, because I’ve been there.
Sharing my personal life is harder.
I privately dealt with a divorce and all of the verbal and emotional abuse I went through for all of those years. It took me a while to bring back my confidence and self-worth, and I had to learn how to love myself all over again. There were good times in those years, and I chose to make the best of anything positive in my life, but the bad memories are a very real part of my journey. Nobody knew what was going on back then, not even my closest friends.
If I can help people by baring my soul, as uncomfortable as it is, I’m willing to do it. Watching people bloom into the individuals they forgot they were means so much to me, because I’ve been there, I’ve done that, and I know how hard it is.
Putting it All Out There
The truth is, if I can’t share both my professional and personal sides, I can’t fully be myself. I want to express all of who I am, but sometimes I do worry about how the people I work with professionally might react to the empowerment, survivor-themed things I share.
What I’ve realized is that when it comes down to it, it’s their choice to read it or not. I can’t dictate who should read my stuff and who shouldn’t, and I don’t want to beat myself up worrying about what I should share and what I shouldn’t. It’s all real, it’s all me, and I’m going to share it because I know someone needs it.
Honestly, there have been times where I’ve thought “Ugh, maybe I shared too much!” and stressed out for a week worrying about how something will go over. That’s when my phone starts ringing, and my inbox begins to flood with heartfelt messages from men and women who thank me for telling them they’re strong, they’re not alone, and that what they want is possible.
That’s when I know that sharing it all is the right thing to do.
It’s Never Too Late for You
I may have to watch from a distance but I will respect my family’s boundaries. The best part about being a COVID grandma though? Watching my son
I was 48 when I decided I was no longer going to live that kind of life, and I want you to know that it’s never too late for you to make that change. You’re not stuck anywhere because of gender, race, sexuality, or whatever you think is holding you back. You’re an independent person with amazing potential that can take you anywhere. I want to be the person to guide you to where you want to be in life. And if I can’t help, I’ll point you to other resources that can get you there.
So yes, I do struggle at times with baring my soul. Yes, it’s scary. But I always know it’s worth it in the end. I know I’m doing it for the right reasons, and I’m very proud of myself for doing that.